The holiday season is full of magic, but let’s be real—between the parties, the travel, and the endless everything, it can also feel overwhelming, especially for kids. If you’re on a mission to create a peaceful, joyful season for your family, here are five tips to respect your child’s needs while still soaking in the holiday cheer.

1. Honor Their Boundaries (and Their Feelings)

While Aunt Edna might love a big hug, your child might not feel the same way—and that’s okay. Teach them to politely say “no thank you” and back them up if needed. Respecting their physical and emotional boundaries not only shows them that they matter but also teaches them the importance of advocating for themselves.

Pro Tip: Decide on a code word that they can use with you, if they’re overwhelmed by a busy environment. Then, find a quiet space where they can decompress and connect with you. Even just a five-minute break can work wonders!

2. Slow Down Your Schedule

It’s tempting to squeeze in every holiday activity—caroling, light displays, cookie decorating—but remember, kids thrive on routine. Too much excitement can leave them frazzled (and we all know what that leads to). Keep a balance between special events and quiet days at home so they have time to reset.  

Pro Tip: Before planning an event or activity, ask yourself WHY do you really want to do it. Is it for a pretty picture to share on social media? Is it because you saw a pretty picture of it on social media? Or is it because you actually think it’s a fun thing that will help bring you all closer together?

3. Keep Them in the Loop

Kids feel respected when they know what’s happening. Instead of surprising them with different or activities, let them know ahead of time what you are planning to do.

Montessori Twist: Create a simple visual calendar so they can see what’s coming up. This helps them prepare and feel part of the process.

Pro tip: If you are going to an event, discuss what’s going to happen and the expectations. For example, we are going to grandma’s house, we will have dinner first then open gifts after. We are going to talk with our indoor voices and remember, if you feel overwhelmed you can always come to me and say our code word ‘Santa’s here!’ and we will find a quiet spot together.

4. Be Mindful of Gifts

As much as we love spoiling our little ones, the mountain of presents can sometimes overshadow the joy of the season. Consider focusing on quality over quantity and choosing gifts that spark creativity or align with their developmental needs.

Respecting Their Input: Ask them what they’d truly love—kids often surprise us with their simple wishes. Bonus points if you go through old toys and donate to a toy drive for families in need to model generosity.

5. Let Them Celebrate Their Own Way

Your idea of a perfect holiday might involve matching pajamas and a Hallmark-worthy family photo, but your child might prefer building forts under the Christmas tree or wearing a Santa hat with rain boots. Let go of rigid expectations and embrace their unique way of celebrating.

Pro Tip:  Take a moment and think of your children as adults talking about their favorite Christmas memories. What do you want them to talk about? About the way the holidays were always too busy and you were always asking them to stop to take a picture or about the way you did all sorts of fun things together and they got to be a part of the planning?

When we approach the holidays with respect for our children’s needs, we create an environment where the whole family can thrive. This season, focus on slowing down, listening, and honoring your child’s individuality—it might just become your most magical holiday yet.